14 posts tagged “subscription”

So, my sleeping pattern has been pretty weird recently. It's been worse, but yeah. Falling asleep at seven in the morning and waking up at three in the afternoon isn't very practical.

Midnight last night I started getting ever so slightly sleepy - it was the kind of sleepiness you can shrug off, but I chose not to. Any chance to get my sleeping pattern back to something more manageable is good by me.

So I fell asleep whilst watching Waking The Dead on BBC Prime, and woke up at five this morning. It's nothing spectacular, but it's a start. Besides, now I'm actually awake at a time when the English Department is open - I need to pay them a visit and hand in the forms for my extra subjects.

This coming academic year I will be studying American Literature. This is actually an extra subject, because I'm studying British Literature as part of my main course.

In more writery stuff, tomorrow is the deadline for Cross-Genre Cthulhu. This doesn't say that much, seeing as the editor, John Sunseri, is still being swamped with submissions, but it does mean that pretty soon I'll be hearing back on my submission. I'm not expecting to get accepted, but it'll be fun to find out once and for all anyway. If anything, it'll give me a chance to revise Submission.

I'm tired already. Halp.

So, today I received a comment from Permuted Press' Vox (I mailed Permuted Press to make sure that it was indeed them, because I am suspicious and thourough) that the Cross-Genre Cthulhu editor is holding all stories he likes for consideration until the August deadline.

So, this is good! It means that it is indeed being held for consideration, and I won't hear anything till some time in August, probably some time round the 15th. Which is a (vaguely) set date. Which is good!

Now I just have to wait and see what EP will do. But yeah, if they haven't gotten back to me in a week today, I'll query them.

I've decided that I think that not hearing anything back on either story is most likely due to administrative things - EP is busy with that fantasy podcast spin-off, and I have no idea what's going on at PP. When I'm back in Leiden next week, I'll send out queries just to make sure.

If only I were Eugie Foster. Not only is she an amazingly good writer, she also gets her work accepted on a highly frequent basis. No worrying or being antsy for her.

I still want the certainty that only a rejection letter can give me. If I find out today that I got rejecteda month ago but they just haven't gotten round to contacting me yet, it is going to be such a relief. Right now, these things are hanging over my head and they're deceptively hard to ignore.

And no, still no word from either thingie. I had no idea how much energy is drained from you when you're nervous for more than a day at a time. Silly, really, seeing as it's just over a year ago that I had my final exams at the Norbertuscollege, and just six months from my first round of Uni exams (which were a bit of a disaster due to personal stuff).

The writer's block won't go away. I'm in the state of mind where I usually do rewrites, and I really want to get on to the rewrite of the short piece I did a few weeks ago, but of course I didn't bother to send a copy to my own email, so now I don't have access to it. I'll have to bear that in mind next time I finish something.

I'll probably have more ideas and motivation once I'm back to my usual writing surroundings. I feel weird writing here at my parent's place. When I started jotting down some snippets of a story two days ago, my parents were all curious as to what I was doing.

I had to explain to them that I'm having a go at getting published - I'd completely forgotten that the only person who actually knows me IRL and knows the full extent of my ambitions is Marijnski. I suppose Gerben knows, to some extent, but I think Marijn would be the only one who would spaz out as much as me if I were to tell him that a story of mine got accepted somewhere. Other people would just go "That's nice, dear." They would probably also look at me weird.

I doubt I'd be able to accomplish much in my current state - my 'flu is getting quite bad (a leftover from Werchter last week) so my head is stuffy and I'm constantly tired because my sleep is simply awful, plus I'm just completely drained from thinking about the EP and PP stuff. Still, taking a break doesn't seem like that bad an idea right now - I've still had no word from the job agency (ha ha) so I still have quite a lot of free time spread out in front of me. I've also got to go back to Leiden before the 16th of this month, because that's when my train pass becomes invalid for summer.

So, I'll have a few weeks of reinforced writing time, just about. So long as my shiny new DS doesn't distract me too much.

And I am going to sleep SO well tonight.

So, last night, me and my dad were watching Clear and Present Danger. Well, he was watching, I was listening whilst playing Mario Kart. All of a sudden:

"Do you want some cake?"

"Er, I don't do cake. We don't even have any cake. I had chili wraps for my birthday dinner, remember?"

"But do you want cake?"

At this point my dad got up, practically skipped into the kitchen and started looking at the stuff we could use to add flavour to the cake. So, we ended up making cake. At eleven o'clock at night.

Every time there was a commercial break, he rushed into the kitchen to check on the cake mix, the wine/sultana paste and other important cake-related stuff.

Unfortunately the cake failed, half of it was still gooey while the rest of it was just right. We ate the bits that were just right and then shoved the rest of it back into the oven. It was still a bit gooey later on, but we ate it anyway.

If I get food poisoning, I know it'll be from the gooey bits (my dad suspects that the eggs were a bit off), but I had birthday cake for the first time ever, and it was spontaneous and looked crap and tasted great. Also, I now know how to bake a cake.

In the more writing-related part of things... still no word. I am going crazy. I am also doing my best to come up with short story ideas, but my brain seems entirely too preoccupied with the slight chance of me getting published to spout anything viable.

So, I had just checked my email (still no word from either EP or Permuted Press) and I was checking my flist on LJ, when it hit me.

I freaked out bigtime. I honestly wouldn't be too bothered about getting rejected now, but the idea that I could have had two rejections sitting in a small corner of my inbox while my hopes were gradually building themselves up... I don't know, but that thought made me sick to my stomach. I'm not expecting to have either story accepted, my cautious optimism is me hoping against hope while knowing that it's just me being daft.

I immediately thought that that was silly - I've received mail from Permuted Press and Escape Pod before without any problems, but I checked anyway.

My spam folder was empty, and I breathed a great sigh of relief. Then I checked my inbox again, because I'm compulsive like that.

Besides, I know that nothing is certain until I get the rejection emails in my inbox - I've received mail from both PP and EP before without a problem, so there's no reason for me not to receive the rejection letters. If there is, I'll find out when I query in a week or two.

Secretly (up until now, that is) I was hoping to get two acception letters today. Imagine that, my first two acception letters on my 20th birthday, how kickass would that be.

Alas, it was not meant to be. I'll check my mail later on tonight - compulsive etc. - so I've still got a chance... But I'm not holding my breath at all. I just don't want one of those rejections today. I've always been weird about birthdays. I think they should be special, and seeing as most people don't remember mine, I'm usually disappointed. This year I've thought, screw that! As a result, I've spent the day playing Mario Kart, talking to my Nan on the phone and watching the men's singles final of Wimbledon.

I'm sure most people would think that that is a boring way to spend your birthday, and maybe they're right, but it isn't in any way disappointing. I'd rather be bored than find out that more than half the people I invited over didn't bother to turn up, or have some kind of drama going on. It also beats paying for other people's food and drink, especially seeing as I paid for half of my DS/game/wificonnector thing, which is quite a lot for a student.

I'm going to give EP another week or two, then I'm going to query them, as their site instructs me to do. Permuted Press... well they reserved the right to hold the story as long as they want to, if they're considering, so I'm taking this as a compliment. I just wish they'd put me out of my misery already.

Are there any podcasts that you never miss an episode of?
Submitted by Kadeeae.

Escape Pod, Pseudopod and I Should Be Writing. I'm also looking forward to Scott Sigler's upcoming podcast novel.

So. Still no word on The Cape or Subscription. The nerves are killing me.

ETA: If it wasn't for my shiny new pink Nintendo DS Lite, I would do nothing but sit and think about The Cape and Subscription. Now I play Mario Kart and think about The Cape and Subscription.

The longer this goes on, the antsier and more hopeful I get. I can be pretty sure that they're both being held for consideration. That's nice, and it ups my chances of getting a non-form rejection, but I just want to KNOW already. I used to be terrible with uncertainties, but I thought I was over that. Apparently not.

These are the first rejections that are going to hurt, because now my hopes are actually up.

And, I can't decide which one I want to get accepted more. With EP, thousands of people will hear my work. On the other hand, a few dozen may read my story in the Permuted Press anthology, but then I'll have a contributor's copy of a book with my work in it.

Who knows. Maybe fate/karma/whatever will decide to make up for my previous crappy birthdays and magically make two acceptance letters appear in my inbox tomorrow.

Still nothing back from Escape Pod or Cross-genre Cthulhu! This isn't that strange, though, given the time that has passed since I last noted this here.

Anyway, I was thinking about staying at my parents' place this weekend, and then I was reminded of the start of the children's story I'd found last time I stayed there. I don't remembe writing it, which only made reading it more enjoyable for me. I reckon I'm going to have a go at finishing it - I have no idea where I want to go with it, but the world and the premise really appeal to me.

So, I'll actually be productive again! Go Leah.

This entry will be much more structured and succinct!

I've just noticed that I sent off Subscription to Cross-genre Cthulhu merely 3 days after The Cape! And that particular anthology is supposed to have a similar turnaround to Escape Pod. So I actually have two stories I can get antsy over!

Also, if I'm getting too optimistic, or if you just want to hear more from struggling writers, please go an listen to I Should Be Writing by Mur Lafferty. It is made of awesome. Mur Lafferty was, until recently, the co-editor of Pseudopod, the awesome horror fiction podcast. She also did and does a lot of other things, but they seem irrelevant to my blog, no matter how awesome they are.

I just looked at the ads in the vox.com/compose sidebar. One is telling me that God loves me and that He has A Wonderful Plan for my life. This is only feeding my unfounded optimism, even if I am an atheist.

So I move on to another story, which is practically writing itself.

And, as a bonus, if Subscription doesn't make it into the Permuted Press Cross-genre Cthulhu anthology, I can always try again with this one.

It'll probably take me ages to finish - I'm really busy with my revision right now, and from tomorrow onwards the script I'm going to write with Len will have priority, but still. It's nowhere near August yet.

I just got the following email:

Miss Clark,

I received your story and look forward to reading it. Thanks for submitting!

John Sunseri

Now, this makes me happy. Not only because when I saw I'd gotten a reply to my submission email I automatically assumed that it was a rejection, albeit an extremely fast one, but because it's so friendly. It makes me feel a lot better about a publisher when I get a personalized email back.

And yes, I know for a fact that it's personalized because they've spelt my surname wrong. I'd get worried about them not caring enough to spell my name right if 95% of people didn't make this mistake, because Clark is indeed the more standard and logical spelling of my name.

Also, I'm hardly ever called 'Miss'. Most of the official mail I get is in Dutch. It's only on those milestone birthdays that I get official mail from back home in Blighty. I don't know, being called Miss just tickles me.